Saturday, October 30, 2010

Bocephus!


Seriously. Does anyone want a surly mouthy teenage boy? All day we have clashed like two pig headed, stubborn Titans (cut from the same cloth). First when I had the nerve to ask him to make room in his closet (disaster zone) for his AC unit. Then when I asked him to oh...change his clothes...bring down his laundry...etc. etc. etc. Before noon I had administered three (((LOUD))) lectures.


The man removed (wrestled) me from the domicile for a walk to the hot sauce place, the farm stand, the natural food store...on the way home the much calmer me said:

"I will not yell any more. I will chalk surly, head-in-ass attitude up to hormones and teendom and I. Will. Not. Yell."


He was not buying it.

"No, no! I mean it!" said I.

"Fine. Then we need a safe word."

"Peace?" I asked.


"No. Too transparent. Something he will not know is me correcting you. Okay, I"ll say Bocephus."

"Oh, yes, that slides right into any situation," I said. But it was set.

Well, turns out whilst washing his clothes for him and you know, feeding him, chauffeuring him, paying for him. etc. etc ETC. his father had the audacity to shrink his hoodie (by about a billionth of a millimeter from what I can tell). The father who was currently downstairs cooking dinner for him on the grill.

Well...um...I admit it, I was off. Like a shot. Lecture number 8,754,110 of the day. And mid yell my cell phone rings in my pocket. I knew it was coming. I almost didn't answer it...

"Hello?"

"Bocephus!"

Damn.

3 comments:

  1. OMG! I think there are one of two things going on here. Either my teenage son is living at your house. Or there's some sort of tear in the space-time continuum and I'm your child's mother. Because I swear, you just wrote about my life. I have three teens living in my house. I feel it's only fair if you take one, so then we both suffer equally. Let me know. :-)

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  2. Love this blog and I sure don't want to upset you, but even when they are older and not a teenager, you'll need a safe word. Wine! Get some wine! lol

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  3. and we started today with more lecturs. it's like overnight i'm giving lectures every ten seconds! i'm getting tired of hearing MYSELF! lol

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