Saturday, November 20, 2010

dude, those are like...claws


There is a tiny affliction in my family, that odd object speak to us. I had it happen in high school with a Buddha pendant from and antique kiosk and my mother ended up buying it for me for Christmas that year because it was all I talked about. I still have it and I still wear it.

It happened to boy child this summer down in Hampden on the Avenue at an antique store. We ended up bringing home a carved wooden statue of a Japanese fisherman with what appeared to be a alien-like head. Like close encounters alien. The head, though human and matching the body, seems oddly disproportionate to the rest of him. But I digress...

As you can see, it happened to girl child today at a local bazaar with "The Chief". That is how he was labeled. I think they missed the words "Creepy Pants". Big Chief Creepy Pants seems about right. Yes, it is plaster, yes it is huge (about 2 feet), yes it is hand painted by a non professional--no, no! I know you think it was but I assure you, despite its impeccable facade it is definitely the work of an amateur. (Oh. My. God) AND...it appears to be sporting rather deadly talons instead of fingernails on the hand that is clutching the AXE!

(funny aside: she says to me "Maybe he is a Cherokee chief, Ma" as if this will make me feel better about her purchase. Our bloodline is heavily peppered with Cherokee, but somehow I don't think he'd care if we're related or not)

The amusing part of this to me is not that I have a blood thirsty half shifter Indian Chief armed with an axe in my home, it's that it was purchased by the same child that once made me lock a ventriloquist's dummy in the trunk of my car because she thought it was going to come into her room at night. Does she not fear Big Chief's death claws?

Anyhoo, here are some other pics

Our sunset tonight. The photo does not do it justice. It was pinky pinkerson and gorgeous.


When I turned around on the deck, this was on the other side. A gorgeous plump moon.

The fake fire where I mope and wallow (see blog below).
I am glad I have this fake fireplace to hang out in front of now that the sun has set, the moon is full and chief creepy pants is dragging his bodyless torso through my house with his deadly shifter talons so he can finish me off with his...AXE.

Maybe I'll lock him in the trunk of my car.

XOXO
Sommer

3 comments:

  1. That Chief reminds me of a little tradition we used to have. For Christmas, we had to buy each other presents for under $5. The presents had to be intensely ugly and/or impractical, but not intentionally so. It had to be clear that someone somewhere thought the item would be a good idea. We had things like a cookie jar in the shape of a cat which was dressed as a clown. There was also a ceramic clown that laid on his stomach, legs bent up at the knees and head resting on hands. Up the sides of his body were tiny mis-shapen cups. The reason for the cups? The clown's head came off, because he was an alcohol container. The little cups were shot glasses. All made with rustic charm...

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  2. Hmm. Big Chief Creepy Pants no like um shifter porn. Him chop you good!

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  3. well, jo, we survived the first night. no angry werenativeamericans in the house. though I do play the relative card. "How ya doing chief? I might be your great great great niece and all."

    Willsin, we do that too! Hideous yet useful. Horrid but once chic. That kind of thing. I bought a few gifts while there, I admit. Can't wait to send them out. lol

    xoxo
    S

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