Friday, November 19, 2010

other stuff i assume i could be if i quit writing...

When I get a not so nice review I usually allow myself to wallow for one day. One day to bury my head in the sand and hide and feel sorry for myself. ONE. If I go beyond that it is just ridiculous because it is unreasonable and sad to expect that everyone in the whole world should like you and/or your work--whether your work is phone service or fiction writing.

I found a bad review quite by accident. It was buried amidst so many good ones, and still, that one bad one instantly negated all the numerous good ones for me (because I have issues, yo). So today is my official wallow day.

Since finding the one bad kernel amongst a whole can of good ones, I have watched episode two of The Walking Dead on demand (nothing says self loathing like zombies), I have written several pages of new book (and questioned and second guessed every durn word), the man dragged me to the home improvement store--which was oddly soothing and nice in a bizarre "this is like a mental institution but with power tools" kind of way, walked his fatness with the man.

I am now sitting in front of my fake wood burning stove heater thingy my mother-in-law bought me contemplating the virtues of a self-shaming nap. (I would like to note that the fake fireplace heater thing is next to our actual functioning gas fireplace that we are too cheap to run). Whilst I sit here and enjoy this false blaze, I have made a short sad list of things I could be if I quit writing (and apparently assaulting folks with my thin veil of fiction wrapped around gobs of sex). Here goes:

$ dog salon receptionist (There is a dog salon by our home. Twice now they have put HELP WANTED signs in the window and I have chicItalickened out to go in and apply. For whatever bizarre reason, this has become my mental dream job (no, I am not kidding) should people stop buying my books and we require stuff like food and heat and shelter)
$ home improvement store worker person (like I said, oddly soothing in bright, clinical, soft rock being piped in overhead way)
$ the 'would you like fries with that' girl at any fast food restaurant (this needs zero explanation)
$ grocery store worker (again, oddly calming to me, possibly because I own one tween, one teen and one man and I am CONSTANTLY there, so to me it is like an extension of home only with food cold storage, bright lights, stock boys and again with the soft rock)
$ professional TV watcher (again, no explanation needed. seriously, if you need one, call me, we'll talk.)

That's my list for now. There might be others, but those are all I can think of. That nap is looking pretty good, wallowing is exhausting.


After the blog/Author's Note: I took a nap shortly after this blog. Then I watched the Top Chef Desserts finale I missed the other night. Etc, etc, etc.

Also, I wanted to say, when I post blogs like this it is not a desperate cry come stroke me, come stroke me, tell me I'm pretty, tell me I'm good... It's not. But you guys always rally and make me smile and sometimes LOL out loud (to quote Mr. Monk) so thanks and you totally rock my thinly veiled gobs of sex world ;)


  1. ah bad reviews suck..and not in a good way..:-(

    anyway..i d love to see you as a dog salon receptionist:-)

    oh..and you have forgotten to put sexy secretary meets bond girl on your list!!

  2. The thing about reviews is, if that person is pissed at hubby, sweetie pie, the kids or just at life, you're her/his target.

    One thing for sure, you could do all those things you listed with style, but you won't have to because you are a writer of smut and we need our "Sommer" fix.

  3. Bad review(er)s suck. And sadly, they're a dime a dozen. :*(

    But ya know something? You're the only Sommer "formerly known as Smut Girl" Marsden on the planet, so that not only means you're full of awesome, it makes you totally rare! Now add a gift for smut-tastic story telling to that for rarity+1 and it's a proven mathematical equation:

    Sommer(awesome)(rarity+1)=WIN to nth power!!1!

    Math beats opinion with a rock every time. Wishing you much happiness, lady. :0)

  4. oh my god you guys rock!

    cora, i could have totally used you during algebra homework the other night. totally. in fact, i think that might be the answer! :)

  5. But Sommer, I read erotica for the gobs of sex, and the thinly veiled fiction is a bonus! It's double luck that you have all the funny wit and humanity and intensity and romance sandwiched in between the veils.

    Fear not!

    wv pnessess ... snigger

    I'm sure you'd be a great dog washer too.

  6. Damn Sommer.

    To have a number of great reviews so seriously, overwhelmingly trumps the one bad review, and though I think you know that, it's so hard for you to let it go.

    Think of it this way:

    You owe it to those who love your work to write in your own unique, funny, sexy voice. Never, ever, ever cater to the lone voice of dissent. Would you want to win that person over at the cost of the readers who love your work as it is?

    No, you wouldn't. Don't even contemplate it.

    But, for the record, if you gotta do something else, I think you'd look hot in an orange Home Depot smock doling out 2x4's, hammers and nails.

  7. Jo...well...I *do* aim to please! Gobs it is. Onward and gobward.

    Craig, you are like the wisest person ever. And I say that with my tongue so far away from my cheek that my cheek would not even recognize it. That is exactly the way I needed it said for it to penetrate my enormously thick skull. I do feel loads better. So thanks.

    Although, I wouldn't mind an orange smock from time to time. I'm truly thinking of getting something a few hours a week just so I remember how to imitate human folk (O_O)

    Thx, guys! :D


  8. Pretty sure I've mentioned this one before...from "Shit My Dad Says"...

    "Don’t focus on the one guy who hates you. You don’t go to the park and set your picnic down next to the only pile of dog shit."

  9. well. no. i would so totally not do that! (O_O)



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