Tuesday, January 25, 2011

well fuck me hard

So some of you have been following my hellish travels through the world of what can I eat. And I simply had to share this ridiculously Sommeresque story.

Since my food has been cut down to basically fruits, vegetables and lean meats with some nuts and seeds at the moment, I am trying to be adventuresome with vegetables. You know, snazz up the miserable state of I cannot eat anything fun and or processed. Ever. Any more. Forever. And also Ever!

I am off wheat, corn, rice, nightshades (potatoes, eggplant, tomatoes and peppers) and beans. I figured out beans by accident. I thought I was very clever making a crisp for my birthday brunch with fava and chickpea flour for the crumble. Well, I thought that until I was trying to peel my skin off and saying what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck? six hundred times.

Anyway, on with the story. So I bought that cute little guy up there for dinner. That is Jicama. Isn't he cute? Or as I like to call him, the devil.

We had a lovely dinner of turkey breast, jicama fried in coconut oil and sweet potatoes. Root vegetables are my friends, and to me that Jicama looks like a gnarly big root veg.

Two hours after dinner I start itching. Huge knots and welts and rash. What the fuck! yell I for I have been good for days. Days!

Then I start to moan: Oh, not the coconut oil. No! Not that. I was going to bake with coconut flour and sugar, I was going to make soups with coconut milk. I was going to use coconut oil as a lube even (hey, you can! safe, cheap and non toxic. ole) And now all my planning is ruined, ruined I say, as I claw my skin off.

But something in my wee little brain says: Check the jicama.

Check the jicama? It is just a giant turnip. A giant radish. A giant...root veg. Right? Right? So I bend to my internal voice and google Jicama. Um:

"Jicama belongs to the legume or bean family (Fabaceae)..."

Wha...Wha...What!? Well fuck me hard! Leave it to me to go out and pick out a giant goddamn bean to have a 'safe' meal.

Good news is I'm probably fine with my potentially beloved coconut.

Any of this sound familiar to you? I'll be posting links of places that you might find of interest. Such as The Spunky Coconut.

Stay tuned. Maybe next time I'll pick out a giant secret nightshade. Kidding. I plan to google all my suspect and foreign veg from here on out. Trust me.



  1. Oh Sommer! You make me so sad with your what-I-can't-eat-stories! How horrible to be allergic to everything! *Big Hug*

  2. oh it's okay. i can eat all the things that are good for us mostly. veg, meat, fruit, nuts, whole foods. non-shit foods. i do miss gummi bears but not the way the make me feel.

    just cross your fingers that i don't choose another monster bean and not realize it. lol. that was no fun. but at least it sealed the bean deal. now i have NO doubts about that one!

    i eat these cookies made by some little gluten free place. they are almond crescents. they have 4 ingredients. almond paste, almonds, egg whites and evap cane sugar. they are to die for. I am learning it is quality NOT quantity. :D


  3. God, Sommer. We're not meant to be this allergic! I hope some of it corrects for you, in the future. But I also hope you can keep finding the good things.

    Honey, how did you stay alive for so long??

  4. well it all started with "stop smoking, you'll feel better."

    the nicotine was suppressing the celiac. the celiac had reached critical mass. which meant i was starting to react to EVERYTHING and...

    so i quit smoking and instead of good health and lung repair i was sickest girl ever (okay, not ever). that is the nutshell version. ;)

    i'll get there. i'm being sent to an allergist. maybe he will help me have a list of safe foods and maybe...he'll be nice to look at too X-D



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