Thursday, June 30, 2011

It's not you, it's me...

I wanted to take a moment to say this in a public venue. And if you are one of the folks I'm referring to, then you probably read my blog (or you should. And i say that in a totally non-stuck-up-pish way). What I mean is, if you are IMing or DMing a writer or someone you don't really know directly, you probably are reading their blog.

Lately, I've gotten a lot of instant messages from folks on various forums. I belong to a lot of them for work purposes as you can imagine, and yes, I enjoy them for fun or boredom or procrastination too. However, if I do not know you through other interactions, I won't directly chat with you in private. If I do not know you, I will not accept you on that yahoo thing that lets you know when I am online. I wish I knew how to disconnect that thing without having to 'reject' people. I don't really want anyone to know when I am online for sure. Though, let's be honest, I am *usually* online, said the addict.

Now, I have met and chatted with many people via facebook (page) and twitter (feed) and even gotten to know some folks who have emailed me and we have had an exchange. Then I would accept a live IM from that person and maybe chat for a few minutes if I had time. But if I don't know you and we've had no contact, I won't. And it's nothing personal. I'm not being snooty, I'm being smart. Basically, I practice the same rules I preach to my kids about online safety. So my suggestion is, if you want to get to know me, do it in any of the venues I have in place. Because if you just IM me, I won't answer you. And it's totally not you, it's me.



  1. Everybody wants to talk to Sommer!

    It freaks me out when people I don't know at all want to friend me on Facebook - I mean, when I don't even know where they come from and I've had no contact with them at all. Now I have a writer facebook page, I know it's less personal and more networky, but I still don't really get it, friending someone who doesn't know who you are, without a message or anything. And Facebook doesn't give you an option for no, just a yes or a not now. It's... awkward.

  2. Nah, Vida. It's not that I think everyone wants to talk to me and I have NO issue at all with folks I don't 'know' friending me on facebook or twitter or goodreads. I love that!

    I mean those little pop up instant messages that folks can utilize on Yahoo! and Facebook where all the sudden they are on your screen and talking to you and you've had ZERO interaction with them beforehand. That bothers me. It's like a stranger coming to your front door and saying, so can i come in for coffee?

    That's what I mean. I like when people try and 'chat' and get to know me on my facebook PAGE (like in my stream/comments/page) or on my twitter feed. It's folks who have never ever ever had any kind of back and forth with me who suddenly want to IM chat that unnerve me.

    If that makes sense! :)



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