Monday, July 4, 2011
My own attempt at pride and independence....
Happy Independence Day! I hope it's wonderful and fun for you and yours (and safe). I had a bit of my own independence day yesterday. I finally busted free of trying to hide myself entirely from family. I sort of shucked the idea of shunning who I am and what I do and what I write. A family member I haven't seen in a while leaned in and asked me about my books and what I was writing. A lot of folks know sort-of-kind-of what I write, but I refuse to give my pen name or any of that.
I'm not sure if I'm protecting them or me.
This is entirely my doing, by the way. If I listened to the man, I'd be writing under my own name and anyone who didn't like it be damned. However, when I started the kids were wee and I was very much protecting them, which to me is my number one job between birth and well...forever, when it comes to my kids.
But I gave her my card and told her who I was and how things were doing. For real. I was honest.
I made myself a promise a few weeks ago when I was at the bank and the banker made a comment on my deposit. (We've known each other a while) I said, "They're royalties" and he said, "Oh, what do you write?"
I then horrified and shamed myself by saying "Romance" and doing air quotes. I entirely disappointed myself in that moment because what I do and how hard I work to do it deserves more than air quotes.
So, like I said, I gave her my card. Then I came home and had a conniption. Had I ever used her name? Anyone's name she knew? Last names of folks? Whose names, places, coloring, storylines etc? If you are a writer you know that your life shines through in your work. Sometimes barely at all, sometimes a lot. It depends. But if I wrote stories with characters named ONLY after folks I'd never known in my life, everyone would be named Mabel and Bryce and Hubert.
So, then I calmed the fuck down and decided that that this year I'll be 40. In about five short months. It's time to go ahead and be proud of what I do. And if you don't like what I do, then don't look. And if you like me but decide to treat me differently because of what I do then...shame on you. Not me.
Like I said, I had my own mini independence day yesterday. I'm giving myself the freedom to be me--all of me. It's the kick off to not trying to hide myself. Good stuff.
Now, we are going to eat some good food and probably veg out since we had our party yesterday.
I hope your day is full of awesomeness, fun and fireworks in whatever form you choose to experience them. (I prefer orgasms to actual fire in the sky)