Saturday, February 25, 2012
Hey, Automagically does another magic trick! and Bleh, not another one!
Earning a 5 star, Blue Ribbon Review at Romance Junkies. Woo and hoo! And abracadabra too! Here's a snippet of Automagically:
“You need to make Caleb Mahoney fall in love with you.”
“Why the fuck would I do that?” Evie asked. She tugged her own shocking purple hair and enunciated. “I. Am. Done. With. Men.”
“No you’re not. You’re pissed at men, right now,” Lanie said. She was the only one drinking a cold drink. That was Lanie. Rule breaker, heartbreaker, and if you made her do the dishes, plate breaker.
“I am not pissed. I’m livid. I’m angry. Mortified, horrified, sanctified. Wait. That’s not right. Anyway, I’m a whole slew of –fieds and I am done with them. All.”
“Look at him,” Annie sighed, falling under Lanie’s evil spell of hot-men-itis. “He is so…” She waved her hands around and squinted. “Large,” she finished.
Evie waved her own hands around, mocking her hunk-struck sister. “He might not be large where it matters. It could be like a short stack of nickels for you all you know,” she said.
Lanie almost spat out her soda and she clamped a hand over her mouth. “Bite your tongue.”
“I’m just saying,” Evie said and shrugged. Problem was, when she looked up, their giggling had drawn the attention of the big, studly, handsome, kind and now-smiling wall of man known as Caleb.
She tried not to smile back. Failed.
Annie stared hard and cocked her head at him. But his eyes stayed on Evie. “He’s so not small down yonder,” Annie said softly as if dazed. And she was supposed to be the shy one!
Evie gave up and put her head down on the table. She could just wait here to die. That would work.
Lanie tapped her on the shoulder and snickered.
“What?” Evie growled.
“He’s still looking at you. He thinks you’re cute. Even though your hair is the color of a crayon.”
“Just the front,” Evie said.
“Whatever. Come on. Make him fall in love with you.”
“Why?” Evie raised her head and stared at her little sister. The girl was nuts. But she was also fun, clever and a talented witch.
Lanie shrugged. “Because you can. Spell him. Make him love you, toy with him, ditch him. Then you can be super-kind and we’ll all get together, make sangria and do a forgetful spell. He won’t remember any of the pain of heartbreak the way you do.”
“Why don’t you just skip all those steps and do the forgetful spell on me?” Evie asked.
Lanie shrugged. “Won’t take, probably. You being a witch and all. It’s harder to fool your brain than his.”
“I don’t want to hurt Caleb. No matter how much I say I hate all men. Caleb is a decent guy. We’ve had Sudoku wars for god’s sake. And once played I Spy in a rain storm because no one was here but us and it was pouring down rain. So…”
“See,” Annie piped in. You’re not so down on men after all.”
“Shut up, Annie,” Evie said.
Lanie touched her sister’s arm. “You need to work through this. If you punish Gil by proxy, so to speak, you might heal faster. It has to hurt, Eves. I mean, you were picking out wedding dresses and shit.”
It did hurt. She had been picking out a dress. She had a gorgeous ring—that she threw at him when he left—and they were to go to the Virgin Islands for their honeymoon. It had all gone down the drain because of a twenty-year-old baby-sitter, his poor judgment and the fact that he thought with his pecker.
“Of course it hurts,” Evie said, swallowing hard. She was okay with the pain and the anger. But the sadness that crept in when she stopped being pissed for even an instant was overwhelming. She loathed it. It felt too much like weakness.
“So blow off some steam. Caleb’s a big boy. He’d probably enjoy the boffing and the fun and then we’ll make sure he doesn’t feel the pain part.”
“Like you are,” Annie said quickly, rubbing Evie’s back in small circles.
That small kindness set her off and she put her head down so no one, not her sisters and especially not Caleb, would see her tear up.
When Evie finally raised her face to the table she said, “No. No way, no how. It’s unethical and the Universe will totally bite me on the ass for it. I will pay for it in the long run.”
“Not if we don’t do any long-lasting damage. Not if we don’t cause harm. And since we will fix him so he feels no pain, there is no harm,” Lanie said as if it was the most fucking logical thing in the world.
“No. It’s wrong,” Evie repeated.
Caleb walked up and topped her off with hot coffee. “On the house. You look like you could use a pick me up, Evie,” he said, giving the other two only the briefest of nods.
He smiled and Evie felt something warm come to life in her chest, her gut and yes…her pants. She shook her head and managed a weak, “Thanks, Caleb.”
“Let me know if you need anything,” he said before he turned and walked away. A huge man who was somehow light on his feet like a cat burglar.
“Seriously?” Annie sighed.
“Oh, Evie, you’ll barely have to spell him at all,” Lanie laughed. “It’ll be like shooting fish in a barrel.”
“Word travels fast. He knows you’re single and he knows what he wants when he sees it.”
“Hush,” Evie said again, but somewhere in her brain, her muddled mind was turning over the idea. What could it hurt, right? A little fun, a little fucking, no strings, a bit of magic and a clean slate when all was said and done.
It could work.
In other news, Smashwords is falling under PP's sword at the moment too. I do have to say how much I appreciate Mark Coker's long and in depth letter regarding the debacle and the standard response of "Then get a new provider". It is easy to say, much harder to do. However, I said this morning on Twitter and I'll say it again, somewhere out there is a financial mind with the chops to 'build a better mousetrap" as far as building a rival to PP. Nothing breeds invention faster than discontent. And a whoooooole lot of folks are suffering some mad discontent right now over what's going down and the Big Brother attitude of some online financial providers (or demigods??). So, I think we'll be seeing some changes in the near future in the form of serious competition.
I could be wrong, but damn, I hope I'm not. I hate people telling me what to do. Unless there's a paddle and an orgasm involved.