Or just normal me? Let's start at the beginning:
My giant bottle of rotgut. Is it to dull the pain of my wretched writer's existence or...to clean? Ding-ding-ding! It's to clean. I read in some article or another about using vodka as a rug deodorizer (it did work like a dream), but now I've read it works for bathroom ick. Like that mold we all get from the damp environment. And if you know anything about me, you know I am a huge cheimicalphobe, so straight up liquor is fine by me. I know what's in it and I can't drink it anyway (wheat)...Not that I would (sorry Baltimore, I know you make Rikaloff, top of the line...um, booze in a plastic bottle).
Next! We move on to, talking to my characters. I've finally snapped, or I've just finally found a way to write guest blogs for a tour without feeling like I'm floundering about while being zapped with a taser. I always feel very awkward gust blogging. Make sure to keep your eyes peeled for my upcoming Restless Spirit Tour. I will be having some probing conversations with some of my characters. Don't call the men with the butterfly nets...yet.
Now we move on to talking openly about sex with young folks. What? Won't that make them...you know...do it? No. It will not. The duh is implied. I had a very interesting conversation with girl child the other night while we watched The Secret Circle together. All the girls on that show are portrayed as very sexually advanced at sixteen (confirmed Thursday by them showing their birth dates). They randomly spend the night with young men. The show is pretty in your face with it (much like Buffy was once upon a time). Which is more realistic than society's current thought that kids should be kept in the dark about sex lest they want to have it. And no one should imply any of them are having sex because that makes them okay. Jesus.
I'm very frank with my kids and they can ask me anything. I've been called a sex advocate before and guess what, I consider myself a sex advocate. I want to inform my kids of safe, sane, consensual and above all else, empowered sex. So when girl child sent me the link below and said, "Given our convo the other night, I thought you'd like this" I had a mommy warm fuzzy moment. I would NEVER have sent that link to my mom. Most kids her age I know wouldn't feel okay sending it to their mom. The fact that she did...well, I feel like I'm doing something right.
This is how we should be talking with our young people about sex. Bravo! :
Next, is misplaced notes. That's right. I had the ideas, I wrote them down, I was very excited...I lost them. They're around here somewhere. I'll have come up with and written three different stories and then...that's when I'll find my super secret hiding spot for my notes.
Final insanity, sex laughing jag! Today, no less. The man and I actually managed to carve out some top secret time for s-e-x and I got to laughing so hard for no reason, it was nuts. We've been watching a lot of Duck Dynasty around these parts and here we are in this sexy situation, having managed to dart off for time in the bedroom, and I made the mistake of saying "Hey!" before a sentence. If you've seen the show, you know that "Hey!" will make you think of Uncle Si. So here I am, when I should be all quiet and furtive, laughing top volume because I can't stop saying "Hey!" Forget the kids hearing me, I'm sure the whole neighborhood heard me. And then he started laughing because, well, you know I am amusing...
The final thing, that is just something I want to share in this mish-mash of I-have-not-blogged-in-a-while insanity:
The perfect blueberry smoothie. I whipped this up yesterday and it is my breakfast now.
1/2 cup of all natural no sugar added applesauce
1/2 a cup of frozen blueberries
splash of almond milk
splash of 100% juice fruit juice
*make your splashes smaller or larger depending on how thin or thick you like it.
Whir that up until you have the right consistency and tada! 100 calorie purple/blue breakfast full of antioxidants. Just make sure you brush your teeth after. You're going to look like a pirate.
And I'm over and out. What a long, crazy blog it's been.