Monday, March 17, 2014

Day 17 brings Lynn Townsend, a tiny T-Rex and some buttsecks...(you heard me)

Happy St. Paddy's Day! If your like me you will be celebrating with red wine (later) on a snow day (all day). We have a good six inches out there (heh) so I'm glad all my St. Paddy's celebrating family got their party on over the weekend. Me, I gave up St. Patrick's Day the year we went downtown, I got drunk on green beer, ate too much green popcorn and my boyfriend's best friend hit on my mom...well, it's a long story. On with today!

Congrats to Jade! You are our winner from yesterday and Justine Elyot will be in touch for you to make that impossible choice :) As always, all other comments were tossed in the draw for grand prize which is getting HUGE might I say. Some of you have stopped in every day so you have 16 entries in there. Way to go!

Today I have Lynn Townsend. She's a fairly new writer (if you compare her to an old dog like me) but she's making up for lost time. Books and shorts and projects, oh my. Exciting stuff! She wrote one of my absolute favorite stories, Dead in the Water, in my Coming Together: Hungry for Love zombie anthology that benefits the American Diabetes Association. I remember reading it and having all the tiny hairs on the back of my neck stand up. When I finished I took a big fat sharpie and wrote on the cover page. Yes! Yes!

Good stuff!

*Be sure to leave your email address with your comment. Lynn's doing a reader's choice of Roll or Blood Sight. Ah! Another impossible choice, dear reader. But look at it this way, you have choices, which is always good.

And away we go with Lynn...

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Changing Definitions

Happy birthday, Sommer!

In my other life, I have a dinosaur web-comic

Sommer made a big impact on my life when I was first getting started as an erotica writer. Has it really only been three years? I made a complete flub-up in submitting a story to her and she was wonderful and gracious. She was particularly unfazed in a time where I really needed someone to not be horrible editor-on-a-high-horse. (Do those actually exist? I haven't personally found any awful editors, but I kept hearing that they existed and if I made one error, put something in the wrong font, or otherwise did something both dippy and typical of me, that my career would be over... I've never dealt with one, but at the time, I lived in fear of someone landing on me, feet first, in cleats.)

If you're interested, the whole story is here  [link ]

Since then, I've published two novels and 20+ short stories...  I'll be honest with you, Sommer has been one of the biggest influences on my career, both in her earthy personality and in her wonderful, kick-you-in-the-teeth awesome novels. So I'm pleased as punch to be here, and to offer an e-copy of either my m/m New Adult novel, Roll or an e-copy of my urban supernatural vampire romance novel, Blood Sight. (Blood Sight will be released in two weeks, so if you select that one, you'll have to wait!) to celebrate Sommer's birthday! Woo woo! ::throws confetti:: Oh. Um. Someone else can clean that up.

In the last couple years, I've had some pretty interesting conversations about sex; there's nothing quite like being an openly blatant erotica writer. People will tell you the craziest things! Since I'm personally of the opinion that we should all be talking about sex, honestly and openly, a little more often, I'm delighted by these conversations. Although sometimes they take me a bit by surprise.

I have a good friend who is my “go-to gay”. (He just recently got married to the sweetest dude ever, and I'm so happy for them I could squee!) Whenever I have questions about – well, honestly anything from coming out, to dealing with homophobia, to the details and mechanics of gay sex, to screenshots of his Grindr feed – I go to him. He also does beta reading and editing for me...
One day, we're sitting on my sofa and talking about my latest short story.

“I really appreciate,” he says to me, “that you don't go straight for the buttsecks in your stories.” He really does say it that way, I can visualize it spelled out over his head in a little thought bubble.

“Oh?” At the time, I hadn't actually written any anal-play stories.

“Yeah. It seems sometimes that a lot of the writers just jump straight into it. It's not like that, in reality. Most gays don't rush like that. Penetrative sex is one of those things that takes a lot of trust in your partner, in yourself. It makes you incredibly vulnerable.”

The look I gave him – as a bisexual female writer who has had rather a lot of penetrative sex – should have been worthy of its own frame job.

We ended up having a good laugh and moved along.

But in the meanwhile, the thought's stuck with me; traditional sex, traditional definitions. In the feminist circles where you can often find me, we call it PiV (Penis in Vagina). But it's completely not necessary for a satisfying sex scene. There are a lot more varieties to be had! And when you start talking about gay sex and gold star gays (“gold star” means never had sex with an opposite gender partner) a lot of “traditional definitions” go right out the window.

Especially when you consider the somewhat out-dated notion of virginity. I'm with Inara (from Firefly... if you haven't seen it, stop reading this blog entry and go hit up Netflicks, seriously!) on this issue; virginity is simply a state of being. Not having it doesn't make you a man. Losing it doesn't make you a slut. Personally, I “lost” my virginity to a particularly difficult trail jump and I came down badly on the pommel of my saddle. People who claim oral or mutual masturbating “doesn't count” are arguing technicalities the way my ten-year-old will say “But I wasn't running in the house, I was skipping!”

I was arguing with another friend recently about the whole thing; he was commenting on some woman putting her virginity up for auction as a way to get through college. If that's what she wants to do, more power to her! (Honestly, I'd like to know how it goes; my official “first time” was kinda icky and unimpressive and I didn't really care for the whole deal.) But what I don't understand is why men will pay for this. I'm all “I don't get it....” and my friend is just staring at me like I'm stupid.

I got “dinged” recently by a reader, who was angry that I didn't “show” a character losing his virginity. Especially since the character made a big deal out of being a virgin. I was puzzled. Of course I did! That thing, where the one guy... and then they...

“But it wasn't buttsecks.” (to be fair, the reader didn't say that so bluntly, but that's what I heard...)

So... does that mean you have to be penetrated – preferably by a penis? – to  lose your virginity? What about straight guys? Or gays who only top? Or lesbians?

Your definition of sex and virginity need some work. It doesn't apply.

Hi, I'm here to change definitions!

Lynn Townsend is a geek, a dreamer and an inveterate punster. When not reading, writing, or editing, she can usually be found drinking coffee or killing video game villains. Lynn's interests include filk music, octopuses, and movies with more FX than plot. She has one husband, one child, one murder-death-cat, a turtle, and two chinchillas. Keep up with her on Facebook [ ] or her blog Paid by the Weird [ ]


  1. Aww, that trex is adorable! *squee*

  2. Great post! And for a minute I thought the Q-tips were crutches for the T-Rex, that he'd gotten injured brain works oddly before coffee kicks in, methinks...

    Trix, vitajex(at)aol(dot)com

  3. Heya! ::waves:: Came in to say hi, thanks for having me!

    Yeah, those are crutches. Tiny T-rex fell off his skateboard recently trying to do an Ollie. He had to go to the ER and everything... (I might take my online stuffie a little too seriously...)

  4. Interesting post; cute dino

    bn100candg at hotmail dot com

  5. K so first off - LOVE the T-Rex. Where can I get one of my own??

    Secondly - love the buttsecks. That cracks me up and seems to make the "word" very innocent because it's not the traditional spelling (or is it? These things confuse me verily easily).

    Firefly reference FTW! I've always been of Inara's mindset too. But I think virginity meant more when I was of the "losing it" age than it does to kids today. Most see it as a trap and something to just get it over and done with.

    There are days I wish I'd waited...although in my imagination, I'd lost it long before. Hehehe. So I guess Inara's right.

    And I'm with Trix - totes thought they were crutches for the little guy.



    But I warn you, these things are addictive. Last Christmas, I got one.

    (I might have about 20, now...)

  7. Cute T-Rex. Interesting post.


  8. I say the same thing on my birthday!



What sayest thou?