Once upon a time I wrote non-stop. I didn't need to do anything in particular to write. But, as I've said other posts, loss and grief change you. You end up being an entirely new person when you're on the other side. Things you once loved, maybe you don't. Things you once hated now might intrigue you. Things that were easy are harder, things that were hard are easier.
Or sometimes you're just scrambled and everything is different.
Since childhood all I wanted to be was a writer. And I did it. It took many years to get to the point of doing it full-time and those original few years were amazing, much better than current (thank you industry shake up), but after much consideration I find I still want to be a writer. For a while, honestly, I wasn't so sure. I have also found, I need to attack it at a different angle.
I'm not shy about talking about my workouts online. They directly related to my writing now. And I love when some of you email me to ask what's up with all the nonsense. I'm about 50 lbs down from three years ago. I do a lot of the Beachbody programs. I started with T25 went to Insanity Max 30, a few others, right now I'm all about Core de Force (despite fucking up both rotator cuffs getting overzealous with some kettlebells). I also run and do said kettlebells and battle ropes and basically anything else I can get my hands on. I've considered being a coach but haven't made that step. What I have discovered since my husband passed is that in order to write, I need to move. Usually beforehand and sometimes during I need to get up and take a walk (or walks plural. a shortie with the dog and a long for me. :)
There's so much different about me as I approach the 3 year anniversary of Jim's death. I couldn't leave the house then (literally) and I think that is part of my current need to move in order to create. Then all I could do was be in this house and create and care for him. Now I still create but the urge to move and leave the house regularly and throw my body around like a lunatic (heh) is overwhelming.
Things I find amusing about it is, my brain can either get very romantic or very dirty on a run. It can make connections it used to only make in the magical place called: the shower. It can blank out and just go dormant and that STILL helps my writing because it's a weird form of hibernation. Or it can enter a kind of weird surreal state where my body is fighting to do what I want it to do and my brain's all chill and stoner dude. All of them are good and aide my writing.
Anyway, this is a long rambling blog about being a new person, changing after loss, writing, when things that were easy get hard, and not giving up. I've been asked over the years about my advice to writers who want to write full time. My advice used to be: write every day! Blah, blah, blah. I guess my advice would now be to follow your heart or possibly your feet when it comes to what wrings the most words out of you on any given day. There is no single way to go about it. Capiche?
One fun fact: I am a wateraholic. Coffee, water, wine. That's what I drink, people. :) I can't take big bottles cause they slip out of my hands. I like little bottles but they tend to be so flimsy nowadays and I crush them and then feel like the Hulk. Plus there's the whole green aspect. Today I had no little bottles. None. So I went rummaging through the cabinets and found the BKR bottle I got in my FabFitFun summer box. It's glass with a silicone sleeve. Seems bad for running. But I gave it a shot.
I was wrong. The silicone helps me grip it, or when I get too sweaty, I loop my finger through the top hoop thingamajig and it holds perfectly. I was pretty pleased with myself that I found a greener way to take my water AND a way to use something I thought I'd hardly ever use.
You learn something new every day. (I also learned it can be 'fall' and a jillion fucking degrees)