Thursday, February 19, 2015

And the Universe said, “Ha! Hahahaha!”

Some of you know, if you’re a regular reader, that I’m trying something. I’m trying to be happy in the face of what’s happened in my life the last two years-ish. I’m choosing happiness. I’m also trying to adopt certain ways of thinking, behaving, being etc. I won’t bore you with the details, I’ll just direct you HERE

I have read recently that once you decide on the happy path, once you decide certain things, and attempt to change your thinking and behavior to a certain style, the Universe (or whatever you are comfortable calling it) will test you.

I’m here to tell you it’s true. This isn’t the first instance since I began my ‘crunchy path’ but this is certainly the most amusing. Here we go.

Girl child has been home sick since Friday (though Mon was a holiday and Tues was a snow day). Nothing earth shattering, just a fairly bad sore throat, lethargy, icky-ness. You know the drill.
Today was supposed to her first day back. It was roughly 4 degrees this morning when I went to take her to school.

Now keep in mind, yesterday I struggled with an issue I’m continually struggling with, and again, I declared today the day I conquer this issue. Or at least give it the good, god damn, college try. I woke feeling I had hope for today. So of course…

We go out to drive her to school and my emergency brake was FROZEN. Yep. Frozen. See, we had snow Monday, some snow yesterday and the temps dipped ridiculously low. Since she was under the weather yesterday, we stayed in and Netflixed (yes, in this house, Netflix is now a verb). Which means I didn’t start the car. Which means, at a toasty 4 degrees, the car didn’t want to, you know, MOVE.

After ten minutes of warming the car to no avail, I gave up and called my dad. My parents are a few blocks away and he assured me he’d get his coat on and come get her. She’d be a few minutes late but no biggie.

So, while we waited I scribbled an absentee note for Friday and Wednesday and then a note for her being late today, explaining what happened. Both on envelopes I found in the car. Yes, mother of the year.

My dad finally shows up, car is still frozen, she gets out and goes to his truck, I wave, and decide to wait in my car to see if the fucker will unfreeze.

But in my rearview mirror I’m seeing, her not get in his truck, Dad messing with the truck door, Dad getting OUT OF THE TRUCK…

So, I abandoned my giant motor-running paperweight and go see what’s up. His passenger side truck door won’t open. He’s trying, I’m trying, and she’s standing there ready to abandon her desire to go to school. He gets in the truck and he’s locking and unlocking the automatic locks. I’m yanking the door. We’re manually flipping the switch.

By now, girl child and I are snorting and laughing. I meant it is TOO RIDICULOUS this effort to drive five minutes to school (no, I did not want her to walk alone in frigid temps as sick as she’s been). Then the coup de grace, my dad, shoving the wooden handle of an ice scraper against the door lock, trying to push it high enough, yelling, “Pull! Pull!” and a few choice expletives I won’t bother to record.

Ping! In my head I hear: try your car…

He’s still fiddling with his door, girl child is standing there in awe of the entire scenario and I bolt off to the driveway to try my car. Well, the emergency brake finally unfroze because TADA! it moved.
So he waves, I wave, off we go, me and the girl, laughing and just kind of stunned at the last twenty-something minutes.

When I finally got home, frozen and still sort of like “whaatttt?” I decided the morning drama wasn’t going to fuck up my decision to wrangle certain things in my life. Instead, I embraced the bizarre humor of the situation. Instead, I listed, mentally, what I was grateful for:

Parents who live close and are always willing to help me. Even when it’s 4 degrees.

A car that finally decided to move.

A kid with a good sense of humor.

The fucked up hilariousness of the situation.

The Universe may be laughing at me today, but I’m laughing right along with it. And I’ll carry on with my crunchy path despite the occasional obstacle it throws my way. It just wants to make sure I’m serious. Guess what?

I am.


1 comment:

  1. Sounds like a laugh riot. Good on y'all for not giving up. Two seconds after my car wouldn't start I'd be back in the house under the blankie and calling in frozen.


What sayest thou?